She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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