At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
