Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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