can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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