How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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