Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
