We're facebook friends in real life
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
