I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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