HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
