Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
