also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
