we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
