I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
