you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
