Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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