..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just blew my weed a kiss
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
