Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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