I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
