I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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