I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
