we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
