yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
