Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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