I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
