You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
