She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
