My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Michael Bay diarrhea
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
