I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
time to smoke my breakfast
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
