Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
