No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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