im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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