i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
