yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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