I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
