Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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