When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
