First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
