Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
