so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
