yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
