i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
