I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
