he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
