I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
