Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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