I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
