dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
