susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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