White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
