I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
